March 10, 2024 — Episode #10

Content note: this episode includes discussion of marital infidelity, patterns of domestic abuse, and one anecdote describing violent revenge fantasies before the person involved ultimately chose to forgive.

Jerry and Becky close out their chapter on forgiveness, exploring what it costs a marriage when one spouse “buries the hatchet but not the handle.”

They share stories drawn from decades of ministry — a husband who said he forgave his wife’s affair but kept bringing it back up in arguments, a woman who spent two years plotting revenge after finding her husband with her best friend before an “epiphany” led her to seek forgiveness through Scripture, and women who have had to protect themselves and their children from abusive husbands, including turning to law enforcement when necessary. They lay out five benefits of forgiveness — breaking the cycle of blame, removing anger and guilt, placing the offended on equal footing with the offender, forgiveness as an act of faith, and freedom from being defined by the past — grounded in Ephesians 4:32, Psalm 86:5, and Romans 12:19.

Topics discussed:

• Forgiveness versus retaliation or withdrawal
• Stories of infidelity and the road back to trust
• Domestic abuse and the importance of outside help
• Five benefits of forgiveness
• Forgiveness as a choice, not a feeling
• Ephesians 4:32, Psalm 86:5, and Romans 12:19

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