June 29, 2025 — Episode #76

Content note: this episode includes references to domestic abuse and a parent fearing the abduction of a child by an ex-spouse.

Jerry and Becky close out their two-and-a-half-month series on divorce with a look at the ripple effects it has on the whole family, and the mix of negative and positive changes that can follow.

They cite the statistic that the average marriage lasts about eight years before a first divorce, discuss why the “divorce” breakout session is often the least attended at their Hope for the Home conferences, and stress the importance of taking ownership rather than only assigning blame. They walk through negative adjustments — relocation, finances, career changes, physical and mental health, and social isolation — as well as positive outcomes people have shared, such as regaining self-esteem, finishing an education, or feeling relief from an abusive or spiritually restrictive marriage. They also discuss the correction from Malachi that God “hates divorce,” not divorced people, and remind listeners that grandparents raising grandchildren due to family breakdown is a growing reality.

Topics discussed:

• Statistics on the average length of a first marriage before divorce
• Taking personal ownership rather than only assigning blame
• Family, financial, and social adjustments after divorce
• Grandparents raising grandchildren due to family breakdown
• Malachi’s statement that God hates divorce, not divorced people
• Positive outcomes some people experience after divorce
• Protecting children during custody situations

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.

June 22, 2025 — Episode #75

Jerry and Becky continue collecting real “red flags” that divorced men and women wish they had noticed while dating, from a lack of affection modeled at home to spouses who wanted separate vacations.

They talk about how children need to see healthy affection modeled by their parents, why one spouse prioritizing a career or job over the marriage can be just as damaging as an absentee husband, and how a couple they knew was devastated when a wife chose a job transfer over her marriage. They also discuss financial prioritizing versus overspending on kids’ activities, encouraging parents to let children commit to one activity rather than constantly changing hobbies, and close with reflections on why some people ignore red flags out of loneliness or a mistaken belief they can change their partner.

Topics discussed:

• Modeling healthy affection for children to witness
• Career priorities overtaking a marriage
• Financial pressure from overspending on children’s activities
• Committing children to one activity rather than several
• Loneliness as a reason people ignore relationship red flags
• Believing you can “change” a partner after marriage
• Prioritizing God, spouse, then children

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.

June 15, 2025 — Episode #74

Continuing their series on divorce, Jerry and Becky share what people who’ve been through a divorce say they’d look for if they ever remarried — starting with finding a genuinely committed Christian rather than someone who merely looks the part.

They discuss how to evaluate a partner’s faith over “the seasons of life” rather than a set length of time, why a strong self-image built on humility matters more than ego, and the importance of getting to know a potential spouse’s family since patterns often repeat across generations. Jerry tells a lighthearted story about vetting his daughter’s date, and Becky shares how her family background shaped her view of sharing and selfishness. They also discuss a friend’s experience of being abandoned by her husband during a serious cancer diagnosis and use it to underscore the importance of supporting a spouse through illness, plus the value of finding a mate who communicates and doesn’t rely on alcohol or drugs.

Topics discussed:

• Evaluating a partner’s faith over time, not by a timeline
• Humility versus ego in a healthy self-image
• Getting to know a potential spouse’s family background
• A father’s approach to vetting his daughter’s date
• Supporting a spouse through serious illness
• Decline in couple communication after the first year of marriage
• Avoiding alcohol and drug use as a relationship red flag

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.

June 8, 2025 — Episode #73

Jerry and Becky wrap up their series on divorce by turning to the question of who leads when spouses disagree, and they share the personal story of the decision that took their own marriage into full-time ministry.

They outline a biblical hierarchy for marriage — Christ as head of each spouse’s life, husbands called to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and wives trusting their husbands’ leadership rather than being controlled by it — and Becky recalls the year she spent praying before agreeing to leave a stable income for Jerry’s call to full-time evangelism in 1975. They discuss why couples talk far less to each other the longer they’re married, statistics on cohabitation and divorce rates in second and third marriages, and how parents can help teenagers understand purity and dating expectations. The episode closes with a discussion of honesty in relationships, using workplace integrity as one measure of whether a partner’s actions match their words.

Topics discussed:

• Biblical headship and leadership in marriage
• Becky’s story of trusting Jerry’s call to ministry
• Decline in couple communication over time
• Statistics on cohabitation before marriage
• Divorce rates in second and third marriages
• Teaching children about dating and purity
• Judging honesty through a partner’s everyday actions

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.

June 1, 2025 — Episode #72

Jerry and Becky Drace continue their multi-week series on divorce, revisiting the five benefits of forgiveness they began teaching the week before and closing out lessons drawn from years of speaking with divorced men and women at their Hope for the Home marriage conferences.

They walk through why forgiveness breaks the cycle of blame and pain, removes anger and guilt, places the offended on the same side as the offender, requires an act of faith that leaves consequences to God, and is ultimately a choice between staying imprisoned by the past or being set free for the future. Drawing on Ephesians 1:7 and the story of Adam and Eve’s expulsion from Eden, they discuss how forgiveness doesn’t guarantee reconciliation, how self-forgiveness matters as much as forgiving a spouse, and why not every pastor is automatically a qualified Christian counselor. They also share anonymous, real-life lessons people who have been divorced sent them — cautionary stories about marrying too quickly, marrying someone already married, and marrying an addict or an unfaithful spouse — along with Becky’s own story of trusting God’s timing in choosing a mate.

Topics discussed:

• Five benefits of forgiveness in marriage
• Ephesians 1:7 and the meaning of grace
• Adam and Eve’s expulsion from Eden and reconciliation
• Choosing a qualified Christian counselor
• Real-life lessons learned from divorced listeners
• Trusting God’s timing in choosing a spouse
• Self-forgiveness after divorce

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.

May 25, 2025 — Episode #71

Ahead of Memorial Day, Jerry and Becky Drace close out their lengthy series on divorce with a conversation about contentment, unforgiveness, and the concrete benefits of choosing to forgive.

The couple discusses the apostle Paul’s teaching on contentment in Philippians 4, and how discontent can spread through a marriage — and a person’s whole life — like an untreated illness if it isn’t addressed. They recommend divorce recovery support groups at local churches and talk about the importance of a strong group leader for programs like these. Becky and Jerry also share the story of a woman who spent two years consumed by anger and resentment after her husband’s affair before reaching a breaking point and beginning to heal, using it to introduce several benefits of forgiveness grounded in Hebrews 12:14-15: it breaks the cycle of blame and pain, it removes anger and guilt, and it puts the forgiver on the same side as the one who hurt them, since all of us need forgiveness at some point.

Topics discussed:

• Biblical contentment and Philippians 4:11-13
• How discontent can spread through a marriage and a life
• Divorce recovery support groups at local churches
• The lasting effects of unforgiveness on trust and relationships
• Hebrews 12:14-15 and the “root of bitterness”
• Benefits of choosing to forgive after betrayal
• Learning to make independent decisions after divorce

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.

May 18, 2025 — Episode #70

Content note: this episode includes graphic, detailed descriptions of two fatal drunk-driving accidents involving teenagers, told from personal experience.

Jerry and Becky Drace discuss a lesson learned by one couple whose marriage was undone by partying and drinking, using it to launch into a frank conversation about alcohol, moderation, and the example parents set for their children.

Drawing on Proverbs 23’s warning against “lingering over wine,” the Draces talk about America’s struggle with excess in general and how that shows up in drinking habits at home. Jerry shares two sobering personal stories from his years in pre-med and ministry — one from a hospital emergency room on a New Year’s Eve, and another from a chance encounter at a cemetery — both involving teenagers killed in alcohol-related car accidents. The couple uses these stories to urge parents toward moderation and honest conversations with their children about drinking. They close out the “lessons learned” series with lighter notes on being satisfied as a single person after divorce, and a description of a “McDonald’s world” of drive-thru marriages and fast-food family life that never slows down enough to reconnect.

Topics discussed:

• A marriage undone by partying and drinking
• Proverbs 23 and biblical warnings about excessive drinking
• America’s culture of excess and lack of moderation
• Personal stories of fatal drunk-driving accidents involving teenagers
• Talking to teenagers honestly about alcohol
• Finding contentment and peace as a single person after divorce
• Slowing down a “fast food” family lifestyle to reconnect

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.

May 11, 2025 — Episode #69

On Mother’s Day, Jerry and Becky Drace pause to honor mothers before returning to their divorce series, discussing what a healthy family model looks like and sharing a moving story about a couple who reconciled the night before their divorce was set to be finalized.

The Draces talk about daily family devotions and prayer as a foundation for a healthy home, and Jerry shares a memorable altar story from his revival ministry about a husband and wife who — without knowing the other would be there — both came forward the night before their divorce was to be finalized, and chose reconciliation instead. Becky shares how caring for her aging mother in their home in her final years deepened their relationship, and the couple mentions their granddaughter Hannah’s recent type 1 diabetes diagnosis and her simple, steady faith that “God has everything in control.” They also discuss the difficult statistic that a third of divorced fathers lose contact with their children entirely, the pain of a parent being used as a pawn after divorce, and the difference between loving someone and simply being “in love.”

Topics discussed:

• What makes a healthy family model for children
• Daily family devotions and prayer
• A story of reconciliation on the eve of a finalized divorce
• Caring for aging parents in the home
• Statistics on fathers who lose contact with children after divorce
• One parent limiting the other’s access to children after divorce
• The difference between loving someone and being “in love”
• Honoring mothers on Mother’s Day

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.

May 4, 2025 — Episode #68

Jerry and Becky Drace continue their “lessons learned from divorce” series, discussing how a couple’s relationship with their in-laws can foreshadow future problems, and why perspective on divorce can shift over time.

The couple uses the biblical examples of Abraham and Sarah, and Elkanah, Hannah, and Peninnah, to talk about how living close to in-laws affects a marriage, and stress planning ahead for aging parents. They discuss how divorce can “get better with time” as perspective changes, even as the memory never fully disappears, and Jerry shares a story about an older friend who has been married multiple times but grown spiritually in his later years. Becky and Jerry talk about choosing friends wisely since “you may marry one of them,” the value of keeping the door open for reconciliation grounded in Malachi 2:14 and Matthew 19, and the difference between serving a spouse out of love and being treated like a servant. They close with reflections on healthy versus unhealthy models of family for children to grow up watching.

Topics discussed:

• In-laws, aging parents, and their effect on a marriage
• How perspective on a past divorce can change with time
• Choosing friends carefully before marriage
• Reconciliation, forgiveness, and when it isn’t possible
• Malachi 2:14 and Matthew 19 on God’s view of divorce
• The difference between a servant’s heart and being treated as a servant
• Modeling a healthy (not necessarily perfect) family for children

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.

April 27, 2025 — Episode #67

Recorded on the campus of Union University, Jerry and Becky Drace continue sharing “lessons learned” statements from people who’ve gone through divorce, from financial hardship to controlling relationships.

The couple discusses a hard story about a pastor discovered to have a years-long pornography habit, and the ripple effect that has on a congregation when clergy fall into hidden sin. They talk through the financial toll divorce can take, including needing public assistance, and how churches can quietly and fairly help families in need. Becky and Jerry work through several colorful “lessons learned” one-liners — including a couple who lived in separate ends of the same house and someone who described feeling like “a truck stop” for an absent spouse — and use them to talk about the danger of losing romance once children arrive. They close with a serious story about a young woman controlled by a possessive husband who required her to check in every hour, and the counseling that eventually helped heal that marriage.

Topics discussed:

• A pastor’s hidden pornography habit and its ripple effects on a church
• Financial hardship and public assistance after divorce
• Church ministries that quietly help families in financial need
• Married but emotionally disengaged spouses
• Keeping romance alive after children are born (“dialogue daily, date weekly, depart quarterly”)
• Recognizing possessive, controlling, or manipulative behavior in a spouse
• Getting counseling to save a troubled marriage

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.