June 1, 2025 — Episode #72

Jerry and Becky Drace continue their multi-week series on divorce, revisiting the five benefits of forgiveness they began teaching the week before and closing out lessons drawn from years of speaking with divorced men and women at their Hope for the Home marriage conferences.

They walk through why forgiveness breaks the cycle of blame and pain, removes anger and guilt, places the offended on the same side as the offender, requires an act of faith that leaves consequences to God, and is ultimately a choice between staying imprisoned by the past or being set free for the future. Drawing on Ephesians 1:7 and the story of Adam and Eve’s expulsion from Eden, they discuss how forgiveness doesn’t guarantee reconciliation, how self-forgiveness matters as much as forgiving a spouse, and why not every pastor is automatically a qualified Christian counselor. They also share anonymous, real-life lessons people who have been divorced sent them — cautionary stories about marrying too quickly, marrying someone already married, and marrying an addict or an unfaithful spouse — along with Becky’s own story of trusting God’s timing in choosing a mate.

Topics discussed:

• Five benefits of forgiveness in marriage
• Ephesians 1:7 and the meaning of grace
• Adam and Eve’s expulsion from Eden and reconciliation
• Choosing a qualified Christian counselor
• Real-life lessons learned from divorced listeners
• Trusting God’s timing in choosing a spouse
• Self-forgiveness after divorce

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May 25, 2025 — Episode #71

Ahead of Memorial Day, Jerry and Becky Drace close out their lengthy series on divorce with a conversation about contentment, unforgiveness, and the concrete benefits of choosing to forgive.

The couple discusses the apostle Paul’s teaching on contentment in Philippians 4, and how discontent can spread through a marriage — and a person’s whole life — like an untreated illness if it isn’t addressed. They recommend divorce recovery support groups at local churches and talk about the importance of a strong group leader for programs like these. Becky and Jerry also share the story of a woman who spent two years consumed by anger and resentment after her husband’s affair before reaching a breaking point and beginning to heal, using it to introduce several benefits of forgiveness grounded in Hebrews 12:14-15: it breaks the cycle of blame and pain, it removes anger and guilt, and it puts the forgiver on the same side as the one who hurt them, since all of us need forgiveness at some point.

Topics discussed:

• Biblical contentment and Philippians 4:11-13
• How discontent can spread through a marriage and a life
• Divorce recovery support groups at local churches
• The lasting effects of unforgiveness on trust and relationships
• Hebrews 12:14-15 and the “root of bitterness”
• Benefits of choosing to forgive after betrayal
• Learning to make independent decisions after divorce

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May 18, 2025 — Episode #70

Content note: this episode includes graphic, detailed descriptions of two fatal drunk-driving accidents involving teenagers, told from personal experience.

Jerry and Becky Drace discuss a lesson learned by one couple whose marriage was undone by partying and drinking, using it to launch into a frank conversation about alcohol, moderation, and the example parents set for their children.

Drawing on Proverbs 23’s warning against “lingering over wine,” the Draces talk about America’s struggle with excess in general and how that shows up in drinking habits at home. Jerry shares two sobering personal stories from his years in pre-med and ministry — one from a hospital emergency room on a New Year’s Eve, and another from a chance encounter at a cemetery — both involving teenagers killed in alcohol-related car accidents. The couple uses these stories to urge parents toward moderation and honest conversations with their children about drinking. They close out the “lessons learned” series with lighter notes on being satisfied as a single person after divorce, and a description of a “McDonald’s world” of drive-thru marriages and fast-food family life that never slows down enough to reconnect.

Topics discussed:

• A marriage undone by partying and drinking
• Proverbs 23 and biblical warnings about excessive drinking
• America’s culture of excess and lack of moderation
• Personal stories of fatal drunk-driving accidents involving teenagers
• Talking to teenagers honestly about alcohol
• Finding contentment and peace as a single person after divorce
• Slowing down a “fast food” family lifestyle to reconnect

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May 11, 2025 — Episode #69

On Mother’s Day, Jerry and Becky Drace pause to honor mothers before returning to their divorce series, discussing what a healthy family model looks like and sharing a moving story about a couple who reconciled the night before their divorce was set to be finalized.

The Draces talk about daily family devotions and prayer as a foundation for a healthy home, and Jerry shares a memorable altar story from his revival ministry about a husband and wife who — without knowing the other would be there — both came forward the night before their divorce was to be finalized, and chose reconciliation instead. Becky shares how caring for her aging mother in their home in her final years deepened their relationship, and the couple mentions their granddaughter Hannah’s recent type 1 diabetes diagnosis and her simple, steady faith that “God has everything in control.” They also discuss the difficult statistic that a third of divorced fathers lose contact with their children entirely, the pain of a parent being used as a pawn after divorce, and the difference between loving someone and simply being “in love.”

Topics discussed:

• What makes a healthy family model for children
• Daily family devotions and prayer
• A story of reconciliation on the eve of a finalized divorce
• Caring for aging parents in the home
• Statistics on fathers who lose contact with children after divorce
• One parent limiting the other’s access to children after divorce
• The difference between loving someone and being “in love”
• Honoring mothers on Mother’s Day

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May 4, 2025 — Episode #68

Jerry and Becky Drace continue their “lessons learned from divorce” series, discussing how a couple’s relationship with their in-laws can foreshadow future problems, and why perspective on divorce can shift over time.

The couple uses the biblical examples of Abraham and Sarah, and Elkanah, Hannah, and Peninnah, to talk about how living close to in-laws affects a marriage, and stress planning ahead for aging parents. They discuss how divorce can “get better with time” as perspective changes, even as the memory never fully disappears, and Jerry shares a story about an older friend who has been married multiple times but grown spiritually in his later years. Becky and Jerry talk about choosing friends wisely since “you may marry one of them,” the value of keeping the door open for reconciliation grounded in Malachi 2:14 and Matthew 19, and the difference between serving a spouse out of love and being treated like a servant. They close with reflections on healthy versus unhealthy models of family for children to grow up watching.

Topics discussed:

• In-laws, aging parents, and their effect on a marriage
• How perspective on a past divorce can change with time
• Choosing friends carefully before marriage
• Reconciliation, forgiveness, and when it isn’t possible
• Malachi 2:14 and Matthew 19 on God’s view of divorce
• The difference between a servant’s heart and being treated as a servant
• Modeling a healthy (not necessarily perfect) family for children

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April 27, 2025 — Episode #67

Recorded on the campus of Union University, Jerry and Becky Drace continue sharing “lessons learned” statements from people who’ve gone through divorce, from financial hardship to controlling relationships.

The couple discusses a hard story about a pastor discovered to have a years-long pornography habit, and the ripple effect that has on a congregation when clergy fall into hidden sin. They talk through the financial toll divorce can take, including needing public assistance, and how churches can quietly and fairly help families in need. Becky and Jerry work through several colorful “lessons learned” one-liners — including a couple who lived in separate ends of the same house and someone who described feeling like “a truck stop” for an absent spouse — and use them to talk about the danger of losing romance once children arrive. They close with a serious story about a young woman controlled by a possessive husband who required her to check in every hour, and the counseling that eventually helped heal that marriage.

Topics discussed:

• A pastor’s hidden pornography habit and its ripple effects on a church
• Financial hardship and public assistance after divorce
• Church ministries that quietly help families in financial need
• Married but emotionally disengaged spouses
• Keeping romance alive after children are born (“dialogue daily, date weekly, depart quarterly”)
• Recognizing possessive, controlling, or manipulative behavior in a spouse
• Getting counseling to save a troubled marriage

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April 6, 2025 — Episode #66

Fresh off a family trip to Italy, Jerry and Becky Drace begin a new section of their divorce series called “Lessons Learned,” sharing candid statements from people who have been through divorce.

The Draces unpack why forgiveness is a choice rather than a feeling, using the old image of “burying the hatchet but not the handle” to explain how people say they forgive but still bring old hurts back up. They talk about bitterness as more damaging than the divorce itself, tying it to Hebrews 12:15 and the image of a deep-rooted weed that keeps coming back. The couple also addresses how deeply pastors’ wives can hurt in silence, the importance of pastoral accountability, and a story about an adult child who came out as gay with little relationship with his father growing up. They close with a story about a woman who ignored her friends’ warnings and, in her words, went from dating to “dating the wrong crowd entirely.”

Topics discussed:

• Forgiveness as a choice, not just a feeling
• The difference between forgiving and forgetting
• Bitterness as more damaging than divorce itself (Hebrews 12:15)
• Supporting and protecting pastors’ wives and families
• Pastoral accountability and boundaries in counseling
• Fatherlessness and its effects on adult children
• Listening to friends’ warnings before marriage

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March 30, 2025 — Episode #65

Jerry and Becky Drace wrap up their series on the positives of divorce, discussing what it means to no longer walk on eggshells, the value of total honesty between spouses, and what happens when husband and wife are spiritually mismatched.

The couple talks through several more “lessons learned” from people who’ve been through divorce: no longer needing to be defensive, no longer needing to justify every decision, and the relief some feel at gaining independence from a controlling spouse. They have a frank conversation about honesty regarding past relationships and health, noting how a lack of disclosure can put a spouse at risk. Jerry and Becky also explore what happens in a marriage when one spouse leads a family spiritually and the other resists it, encouraging couples to discuss faith seriously before marriage rather than after. They close by previewing next week’s topic: how a divorce differently affects children at different ages and stages of life.

Topics discussed:

• Feeling free from being defensive in a marriage
• Recognizing controlling or manipulative behavior in a spouse
• Honesty about past relationships and health before marriage
• The value of good Christian counseling for both spouses
• Learning from — but not being stuck in — your past
• Spiritual leadership and unequal commitment to faith in marriage
• How divorce affects children differently across age groups

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March 23, 2025 — Episode #64

This week Jerry and Becky Drace continue their look at the positive side of divorce, covering financial relief, boundaries with in-laws, and the moral choices some parents make once a difficult spouse leaves the home.

The couple discusses how divorce can bring financial relief for some but can also leave a spouse — often the wife — responsible for unexpected debt. Becky shares her own story of finishing her college degree and later a master’s in Christian counseling with Jerry’s encouragement, and the two talk about how spouses should support rather than hold each other back. They also dig into overbearing in-laws and recommend a well-known book on boundaries, plus discuss the importance of establishing spiritual unity early in a marriage. The episode covers how a parent can rebuild a home’s moral foundation after divorce, including a difficult story about a child discovering a parent’s involvement with pornography, and closes with tips on finding a qualified Christian counselor.

Topics discussed:

• Financial relief and financial risk after divorce
• Supporting a spouse’s education or career goals
• Setting boundaries with in-laws
• Spiritual unity (or disunity) in marriage
• Children discovering a parent’s moral failures
• Choosing and vetting a Christian counselor
• The American Association of Christian Counselors
• Rebuilding moral and spiritual structure in a single-parent home

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March 2, 2025 — Episode #61

Content note: this episode discusses domestic abuse, including an account of a woman who hid a black eye behind sunglasses at church, and briefly references childhood sexual abuse as a reason someone entered an early marriage.

Jerry and Becky Drace continue sharing anonymous stories of positive change after divorce, focusing this week on healing from abuse and rebuilding a sense of self.

They recount a pastor’s account of confronting a husband over abuse discovered within his own congregation, and share statements from formerly abused spouses who described relief at “no longer living with a monster” and regaining self-esteem after years of feeling beaten down. The conversation turns to spiritual healing — one woman’s insight that “God didn’t leave me, my husband did,” renewed involvement in mission trips, and rediscovering personal identity — along with the importance of shared faith and open communication in a future relationship. Referencing a well-known Christian family counselor’s teaching on self-worth, they close with a preview of next week’s topic: red flags to watch for before remarrying.

Topics discussed:

• A pastor’s account of confronting domestic abuse in a congregation
• Rebuilding self-esteem and healing from depression after divorce
• Learning forgiveness and separating God’s faithfulness from a spouse’s failure
• Renewed spiritual growth, including mission trips
• The importance of shared faith and communication before marriage
• Rediscovering personal identity and independence after divorce
• Preview of next week’s discussion on divorce “red flags”

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.