Avoid Irritating Comments, Choose Soothing Words

July 28, 2024 — Episode #30

Every marriage has its “hot button” phrases — the words guaranteed to provoke a fight. Jerry and Becky spend this episode cataloging the comments to avoid and the soothing words to use instead.

They run through a long list of irritating phrases couples report hearing from each other — “I told you so,” “you always” or “you never,” “why don’t you just ask your mother,” and even casual threats of divorce — and explain why these comments erode trust and self-esteem. They contrast these with soothing phrases like “I believe in you,” “you’re my greatest source of happiness,” and what they call the two most important phrases in a marriage: “I love you” and “thank you.” The conversation also touches on healthy versus unhealthy ways couples model conflict for their children, closing with Proverbs 15:2 and Ephesians 4:31 on guarding the tongue.

Topics discussed:

  • Common “hot button” phrases that damage trust
  • Why the word “divorce” should never be used casually
  • Modeling healthy conflict resolution for children
  • A list of soothing, affirming phrases for spouses
  • The two most important phrases in a marriage
  • Proverbs 15:2 and Ephesians 4:31 on guarding your words

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.