March 10, 2024 — Episode #10

Content note: this episode includes discussion of marital infidelity, patterns of domestic abuse, and one anecdote describing violent revenge fantasies before the person involved ultimately chose to forgive.

Jerry and Becky close out their chapter on forgiveness, exploring what it costs a marriage when one spouse “buries the hatchet but not the handle.”

They share stories drawn from decades of ministry — a husband who said he forgave his wife’s affair but kept bringing it back up in arguments, a woman who spent two years plotting revenge after finding her husband with her best friend before an “epiphany” led her to seek forgiveness through Scripture, and women who have had to protect themselves and their children from abusive husbands, including turning to law enforcement when necessary. They lay out five benefits of forgiveness — breaking the cycle of blame, removing anger and guilt, placing the offended on equal footing with the offender, forgiveness as an act of faith, and freedom from being defined by the past — grounded in Ephesians 4:32, Psalm 86:5, and Romans 12:19.

Topics discussed:

• Forgiveness versus retaliation or withdrawal
• Stories of infidelity and the road back to trust
• Domestic abuse and the importance of outside help
• Five benefits of forgiveness
• Forgiveness as a choice, not a feeling
• Ephesians 4:32, Psalm 86:5, and Romans 12:19

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March 3, 2024 — Episode #9

Jerry and Becky discuss why some people never say “I’m sorry” — and what that costs a marriage and the children who grow up watching it.

They share the story of a woman whose father went six weeks without speaking to her mother rather than admit fault, and discuss how children absorb the example of parents who do or don’t apologize to one another. They talk about the difference between a marriage that stays balanced through honest apology and one that erodes through pride, noting that it takes three to keep a marriage together — husband, wife, and God — but only one to tear it apart. They close with Isaiah 5:21 and James 4:10 on humility.

Topics discussed:

• Why some people never apologize, and the cost to a marriage
• How children are shaped by watching parents handle conflict
• The “three-corded” marriage versus a one-person breakdown
• Balance and communication as tools for repair
• Grandparenting as a “true test” of parenting
• Isaiah 5:21 and James 4:10 on humility

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February 25, 2024 — Episode #8

Jerry and Becky dig into a chapter of their marriage book on the power of complimenting — rather than criticizing — a spouse in front of others.

They discuss how public praise builds confidence while public put-downs, even ones played for laughs, wound a marriage, and walk through the well-known “five love languages” framework of acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. Becky shares how Jerry has served her through illness and how small, consistent gestures communicate care. They also revisit how they had to intentionally step back so their daughter Rebecca and son-in-law Josh’s marriage wouldn’t be undermined by too much parental involvement, and close with an exercise: each spouse lists ten of their own best qualities and compares notes.

Topics discussed:

• The impact of public compliments versus public put-downs
• The five love languages: service, gifts, time, words, touch
• Serving a spouse through illness
• Small, consistent gestures that build a marriage
• Respecting a spouse’s position of leadership
• An exercise in listing your own top ten qualities

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February 18, 2024 — Episode #7

Drawing on a chapter from their book “44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage,” Jerry and Becky talk about supporting a spouse’s dreams — even decades into marriage.

Becky shares her own story of setting aside college to support Jerry’s ministry and their children, then returning to finish her undergraduate and master’s degrees in her sixties with her family’s encouragement. They discuss the danger of a spouse feeling threatened by the other’s educational or career growth, and the importance of staying “one team” while still pursuing individual calling. They close with 1 Thessalonians 5:11 on comforting and edifying one another.

Topics discussed:

• Supporting a spouse’s personal and educational dreams
• Becky’s return to college in her sixties
• Avoiding intimidation over a spouse’s career or education
• Staying a “team” while remaining distinct individuals
• Encouraging children’s dreams the same way
• 1 Thessalonians 5:11 and Genesis 1:27

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February 11, 2024 — Episode #6

Prompted by a listener’s question about Ephesians 5:22, Jerry and Becky tackle one of the most misunderstood words in marriage: submission.

Becky explains submission as a voluntary response to a husband who submits first to Christ, not a demand for control, while Jerry points to Noah as an example of a man who earned spiritual leadership through consistency. They discuss how media often portrays husbands as incompetent, how wives can unintentionally take over a home’s leadership by default, and how a husband who isn’t leading at home will often try to lead somewhere else. They close with the story of their son Drew’s skydiving trip as an illustration of voluntary submission to proper order.

Topics discussed:

• Defining biblical submission in marriage
• Noah as an example of earned spiritual leadership
• How media portrayals undercut husbands’ leadership
• Wives stepping back to let husbands lead
• Blended-family leadership dynamics
• Genesis 6:9 and Ephesians 5:22

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February 4, 2024 — Episode #5

A father’s question about a split household — his wife and daughter attend one church, he and his son attend another — sparks a conversation about why worshiping together as a family matters.

Jerry and Becky discuss how divided worship habits, along with pandemic-era livestreaming, can fragment a family’s spiritual life, and they lay out criteria for choosing a church: biblically sound teaching, a united and engaged congregation, and worship that isn’t just entertainment. They encourage parents to ask their children what they’re actually being taught in children’s and youth ministry, and Jerry shares how he leaned on John 3:16 during their son Drew’s premature birth.

Topics discussed:

• Families who worship at separate churches
• The effects of pandemic-era livestreaming on church attendance
• Criteria for choosing a church home
• Discussing sermons and children’s lessons as a family
• Worship as an encounter with God rather than an emotional experience
• Not forsaking the assembling of believers together

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January 28, 2024 — Episode #4

A newly married man’s question — how do we maintain a healthy balance in our marriage? — leads Jerry and Becky to unpack their “equilateral triangle” model of spiritual, physical, and emotional balance.

They describe a marriage built on a spiritual foundation, with the physical and emotional (“sensual”) sides equally weighted, warning that if any one side dominates, the relationship becomes lopsided. They discuss the importance of a husband earning spiritual leadership rather than demanding it, the impact of a father’s prayers on his children, and daily habits — a shared verse, a shared prayer — that anchor a marriage from its earliest days.

Topics discussed:

• The equilateral triangle model: spiritual, physical, emotional balance
• Newlywed adjustments and blending routines
• Cohabitation before marriage and its statistical link to divorce
• Earning, not demanding, spiritual headship in the home
• The impact of a father’s prayers on his children
• Daily Scripture and prayer as a marriage habit
• 1 Samuel 1:19, Romans 14:19, and John 14:27

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January 21, 2024 — Episode #3

Responding to a wife heartbroken after discovering her husband’s affair nearly 50 years into marriage, Jerry and Becky talk candidly about how trust is broken and how it can be rebuilt.

They walk through the shock, confusion, and grief that follow discovering an affair, and stress the value of qualified Christian counseling. They broaden the conversation beyond infidelity to other ways trust erodes in a marriage — financial secrecy, broken priorities, and inconsistency in spiritual leadership — and close with the idea that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling, pointing to Proverbs 31:11 and 1 Peter 4:8.

Topics discussed:

• Discovering a spouse’s affair and processing the emotional fallout
• The importance of qualified Christian counseling
• Financial and social-media related breaches of trust
• Rebuilding trust as a long, mutual process
• Forgiveness as a choice rather than an emotion
• Proverbs 31:11 and 1 Peter 4:8 on trust and love

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January 14, 2024 — Episode #2

Jerry and Becky answer a wife’s question about how to get a husband who’s glued to the television or his phone to actually pay attention to her.

They talk about the importance of making a spouse feel valued in both public and private settings, recall their own courtship, and introduce “the three E’s” of dating: expectation, excitement, and electricity. They share the story of a young couple nearly divorcing because the husband wouldn’t give up his single-guy lifestyle, and a memorable phrase from a conference attendee about her husband’s “sexless mistress” — a schedule packed with nightly hobbies that crowded out his family. Becky also recounts how she and Jerry had to intentionally step back so their daughter Rebecca would turn to her husband Josh for input instead of to her parents.

Topics discussed:

• Feeling neglected when a spouse is distracted by screens
• The three E’s of dating: expectation, excitement, electricity
• Making your spouse feel valued in public settings
• The “sexless mistress” of overcommitted hobbies and schedules
• Letting adult children lean on their spouse instead of their parents
• Communication as the antidote to a stagnant marriage

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January 7, 2024 — Episode #1

In the very first episode of Hope for the Home, Jerry and Becky Drace launch their new weekly program, drawing on decades of marriage-conference ministry to answer a listener’s question about a marriage that has gone cold.

They unpack a wife’s question about restoring the “excitement and emotions” of early marriage once apathy sets in, distinguishing between fleeting emotion and lasting commitment. Jerry and Becky share how the arrival of their son Drew, born prematurely, reshaped their priorities early in marriage, and pass along a memorable formula one couple shared with them for keeping a marriage alive: “dialogue daily, date weekly, depart quarterly.” They close by urging couples to truly listen to one another rather than simply waiting to respond, pointing to Ephesians 5:29 and the Song of Solomon’s description of love as “strong as death.”

Topics discussed:

• Launching the Hope for the Home radio program
• Apathy and indifference in long marriages
• Commitment as a choice versus love as an emotion
• The “dialogue daily, date weekly, depart quarterly” formula
• Drew’s premature birth and shifting priorities after children
• Listening versus merely hearing your spouse
• Song of Solomon and Ephesians 5:29 on love and care

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.