April 21, 2024 — Episode #16

This week’s topic from Jerry and Becky Drace’s marriage book is blunt: never insult your spouse, publicly or privately.

They talk about how name-calling and belittling erode a marriage’s foundation, sharing stories (without naming names) of spouses who habitually put each other down — including one who never let her husband forget she thought his career change beneath him, until the marriage eventually ended. They discuss tone of voice as much as word choice, reading a poem about how identical words can wound or comfort depending on delivery, and offer three listening habits — repeating, rephrasing, and reflecting — drawn from Jerry’s seminary training in pastoral counseling. They also flag warning signs worth watching for early in a dating relationship, such as a partner who isolates, demeans, or tries to control their significant other.

Topics discussed:

• The damage insults and name-calling do to a marriage
• Warning signs of controlling or demeaning dating partners
• Tone of voice versus word choice
• Repeating, rephrasing, and reflecting as listening tools
• Avoiding “you always” and “you never” accusations
• Modeling respectful speech for children
• Extending mercy rather than pointing out every fault
• Proverbs and Matthew on the power of words

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or directly via our podcast RSS feed. See the full episode archive for more.