Don’t Be a Fault-Finder

April 28, 2024 — Episode #17

Jerry and Becky Drace explore the difference between having faults and constantly pointing them out, arguing a marriage can survive almost anything except a steady diet of criticism.

They discuss how patterns of blame often trace back to what a spouse witnessed growing up, and share a counseling story about a husband who had been unfaithful and a wife who struggled to recognize her own part in the relationship’s breakdown. They talk about loving a spouse “warts and all,” the importance of taking ownership rather than assigning blame, and a tip Jerry once gave their own daughter before she met her husband — writing down the qualities she hoped for in a future spouse. The episode ends with a challenge to list ten things you appreciate most about your spouse and give it to them as a gift.

Topics discussed:

  • Being described by your past without being defined by it
  • Taking ownership instead of assigning blame
  • Loving a spouse “warts and all”
  • How childhood patterns carry into adult marriages
  • Encouraging words versus words of condemnation
  • Guiding children toward wise choices in a future spouse
  • Ecclesiastes and Romans on kindness and honor in marriage
  • A “ten things I appreciate about you” exercise

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